He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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