On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
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