I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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