the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
