grandma shit on top of the toilet
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
