hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
