can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
