I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
