Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
