just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Randomize
