This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
