people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
