he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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