So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
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