Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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