Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
