I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize
