he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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