Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
