My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
