you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
