i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
