We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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