Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Everything about him screamed your future.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Houston, we have a squirter
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
