i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
