I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
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