I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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