I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
