you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
So squirting runs in the family.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Randomize
