Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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