i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Randomize
