dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I feel great
I just peed on a car
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
