just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
