Do you still have your period?
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
