yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
