Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
