piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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