we have officially lost it.
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
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