just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Randomize
