My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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