dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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