As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
vagina is talking i cant
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Randomize
