Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
he fucked my hip out of place.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Randomize
