like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Randomize
