I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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