Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
