That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
