I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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