It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Drake has all the answers
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
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