Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
