I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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