There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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