just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
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