Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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